I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
