I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
