My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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