So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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