if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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