i just wanna soil my oats bro
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
