sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is it because I queefed?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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