We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
