Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
