my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
