What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
