It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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