Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize