We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
