he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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