Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
