life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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