I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
