i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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