Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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