Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish i was in the wii world.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
