we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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