yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize