I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
