dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
