Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
