Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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