is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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