oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
