Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
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