When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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