i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize