You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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