Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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