there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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