Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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