I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
honey bunches of taint.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
