If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize
