A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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