thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
