Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
