gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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