remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
