Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
