Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
