maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
