he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
