Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
