a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
