I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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