i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
