i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
