Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
