We're facebook friends in real life
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
