I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
