I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I touched a dick in church today
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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