I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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