he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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