Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
