I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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