If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
