All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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