I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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